Thanks to Melissa Hartley for the presentation to the Toronto Organizational Development Network.

Having a good or more importantly the ‘right’ conversation can make or break a relationship. Our power stems from the word we use and others perceive us by how we engage them. For instance, criticism triggers cortisol which stays in the body up to 4 times as long as oxytocin. If anyone knows oxytocin, it is a mom.  We have an imprint of each person in our life stored in our limbic system. Oxytocin is the bonding chemical that we all need and crave and keeps us attached and feeling good.

With conversational intelligence, we use the executive brain or the prefrontal cortex. Trust is built in this part of the brain whereas distrust, fear and anxiety lay in the Amygdala or the back and lower half of the brain. Thus, we want to keep with the good parts of the brain and we need the right language and approach to doing that.

Tonight’s presentation was based on the book ‘Conversational Intelligence‘ by Judith Glaser

I would like to thank my colleagues at the TODN for providing a great and informative evening.

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